The Hardest Simplest Question
Love or Money?
Love. Or. Money?
Money?
Or.
Love?
I posed this question to a group of friends. One asked me to answer first. One called me. One wanted to know the context in which I was asking. One answered money. The rest answered love.
Almost all asked "why do you want to know?". Some pressed the issue further - "did you think I'd answer differently?", "how did you think I would answer?". It's interesting how such a simple question can cause such intrigue, such curiosity.
I've been asking myself this question a lot lately. If all things are created equal which would I choose? But even further, if nothing is created equal (which it isn't) then what matters most? In this moment, at this point what drives me, what fuels me, what will provide me with what I want? If romantic love is the goal then giving it all up sounds like the perfect fairytale ending. If self love is the goal then money to go with that would be ideal. Job love is what every working person wants, unfortunately a lot of those jobs come with a minimal salary.
Love or money? In theory it sounds obvious to choose love, however, I've watched most people choose money. One friend of mine makes nearly 6 figures but is so bored at work she fantasizes about what else she could be doing. Another makes over 6 figures and hates her job so much she dreams of working a retail job. Someone once told me they liked their job but were told they'd never make any money at it so they changed their path. Today that person makes a great salary. He's amazing at his job. People love him. He likes it. But is he passionate about it? Does it fuel him and drive him and make him fulfilled? I always wonder that when I talk to him. Money.
A close friend of mine once quit her amazing job to move across the country with her boyfriend. Everyone told her "you better get a ring beforehand". I thought that was so odd. Why? Why not just move? Everyone knew they'd get married but even if they hadn't, would it have been a bad choice? I don't think so. The things she would have learned, the experience - THAT'S living. Love.
One friend won't commit to a relationship because he wants to focus on his career. Money. Another friend quit her corporate job to teach yoga. She works her ass off at a few jobs, but she'll tell you she's never been happier. Love.
Self love. Romantic love. Job love. There are all kinds of love in the world. All forms in which to interpret that oh so simple question. There is no right answer. I understand people don't want to give up a certain way of life, a life many grow accustomed to - myself included. I like nice things and nice places and restaurants. I ask the question because I genuinely want to know, not to influence my own answer, but to see what drives other people and what their reaction is to it. I found it makes people uncomfortable. Something so simple, yet so profound. I'm sure a therapist could argue that I'm so fascinated by the question because my own understanding got so skewed in my childhood. My mother chose love. My father chose money. While I've spent a lot of time in love and making choices based off that love, I can't say I've ever given anything up for it. I have made choices, big choices, because of money. But there has never been a point in my life when I can remember so clearly asking myself the question.
Love or money?
Money?
or.
Love?
If all things are created equal which would I choose? If nothing is created equal, which is more important?
Love. Or. Money?
Money?
Or.
Love?
I posed this question to a group of friends. One asked me to answer first. One called me. One wanted to know the context in which I was asking. One answered money. The rest answered love.
Almost all asked "why do you want to know?". Some pressed the issue further - "did you think I'd answer differently?", "how did you think I would answer?". It's interesting how such a simple question can cause such intrigue, such curiosity.
I've been asking myself this question a lot lately. If all things are created equal which would I choose? But even further, if nothing is created equal (which it isn't) then what matters most? In this moment, at this point what drives me, what fuels me, what will provide me with what I want? If romantic love is the goal then giving it all up sounds like the perfect fairytale ending. If self love is the goal then money to go with that would be ideal. Job love is what every working person wants, unfortunately a lot of those jobs come with a minimal salary.
Love or money? In theory it sounds obvious to choose love, however, I've watched most people choose money. One friend of mine makes nearly 6 figures but is so bored at work she fantasizes about what else she could be doing. Another makes over 6 figures and hates her job so much she dreams of working a retail job. Someone once told me they liked their job but were told they'd never make any money at it so they changed their path. Today that person makes a great salary. He's amazing at his job. People love him. He likes it. But is he passionate about it? Does it fuel him and drive him and make him fulfilled? I always wonder that when I talk to him. Money.
A close friend of mine once quit her amazing job to move across the country with her boyfriend. Everyone told her "you better get a ring beforehand". I thought that was so odd. Why? Why not just move? Everyone knew they'd get married but even if they hadn't, would it have been a bad choice? I don't think so. The things she would have learned, the experience - THAT'S living. Love.
One friend won't commit to a relationship because he wants to focus on his career. Money. Another friend quit her corporate job to teach yoga. She works her ass off at a few jobs, but she'll tell you she's never been happier. Love.
Self love. Romantic love. Job love. There are all kinds of love in the world. All forms in which to interpret that oh so simple question. There is no right answer. I understand people don't want to give up a certain way of life, a life many grow accustomed to - myself included. I like nice things and nice places and restaurants. I ask the question because I genuinely want to know, not to influence my own answer, but to see what drives other people and what their reaction is to it. I found it makes people uncomfortable. Something so simple, yet so profound. I'm sure a therapist could argue that I'm so fascinated by the question because my own understanding got so skewed in my childhood. My mother chose love. My father chose money. While I've spent a lot of time in love and making choices based off that love, I can't say I've ever given anything up for it. I have made choices, big choices, because of money. But there has never been a point in my life when I can remember so clearly asking myself the question.
Love or money?
Money?
or.
Love?
If all things are created equal which would I choose? If nothing is created equal, which is more important?