30 Things I've Learned: #3

-Move to a place where going home isn't an option when shit hits the fan

I moved to New York City at the age of 18 for college. Within two weeks I'd given myself third degree burns on my hands and wrists from a cooking incident. Two months after that I ended up in the ER with a kidney infection.  I was on my own.  I had no friends or family. It was me and the doctor. I had to be tough, I had to ask the questions, I had to figure things out. I had to make it okay. These were just two of countless incidents that would occur that would make me want to jump in my car and head home. But this wasn't an option (especially given I didn't have a car, but even then it was a two day drive home).  

I work with two girls, both raised relatively the same, close families, upper middle class, same city and same age.  However, one went across the country for college and the other did not.  The one who did seems much older, more mature. There is no price for independence and life lessons. This is something that cannot be given by parents, it has to be experienced. 

It has been 12 years and 4 states since I've lived at home. I am extremely close with my mom, we speak everyday, multiple times a day (always have). To this day wish I lived closer, but the life experience I've had is irreplaceable. I will always be thankful she let me move 3,000 miles away from home, especially right after my father left.  But she was (and is) fiercely independent and it's a skillset she wanted me to have. I go to restaurants, movies, and bars alone.  I travel alone and took my cross country trip alone.  I am not afraid of venturing into the unknown. I know I will make it. 

Move to a place where going home isn't an option when shit hits the fan. I'm talking at least a day's drive away.  Independence is learned. Independence is experience.

Possess something no one can take away from you.  Possess something no one has given to you.