Throw Back Thursday - Mexico Edition

12 women. 5 days. 3 sunburns. 1 beautiful house. Countless memories.

Two years ago I jokingly told two coworkers that I was going to throw my 30th birthday in Cabo. I told them to save. They laughed. Last year I told everyone they'd be receiving save the dates 6 months out. They laughed.

The woman who designed my blog logo also designed my invitations. Six months ago they got mailed out. I searched Airbnb for a house and found a beautiful place high in the hills of Pedregal, overlooking the Pacific Ocean. I sent everyone the price breakdown, included the cost of buying groceries and all but 1 enthusiastically signed up to come. I was a little surprised how easy they all agreed. If anyone had an issue with the cost they never shared it with me. I put together an itinerary of the days, the house info, what to wear, where we were going. Two friends made our reservations for dinners.  The countdown was on.

I had zero hesitation over turning 30. In fact I was quite enthusiastic. I did everything I needed to do these past 10 years. I checked all the boxes: stay at a job, leave a job; live alone, live with roommates, live with a boyfriend; have an apartment, have a house; move across the country, then move again; have things and then put them in storage; break up with someone, have someone break up with me.  I didn't make every decision gracefully this past decade, but I did things - lots of them. If nothing else, I can say I lived.

My mother and I arrived in Cabo a day early, so we could be together on the last day of 29 and on the first moment of 30. Most of the afternoon was spent with her anxiety sky high because she left her Macbook in the taxi from the airport (it was later recovered), a good lesson that life doesn't wait, life events are immune from holidays and birthdays.  At dinner that night she had the band play Happy Birthday and surprise me with a dessert. If this had been the highlight of the trip I would have been happy, but of course it wasn't.

The next morning we arrived at our open air 6 bedroom house, our residence for the next 4 days.  Throughout the day my friends arrived, I greeted them with champagne, they greeted me with a smile and a hug. We hung out at the pool. I watched as my phone lit up with birthday greetings, facebook messages and timeline posts. Birthdays are social media's finest hour.

That night after I got ready I walked out of my room and there stood all my friends, birthday banners strewn about, and a table full of gifts and champagne.  To say I was overwhelmed would be an understatement.  They had all been on an email chain regarding this moment - a lingerie party.  If my twenties were the climb, then my 30th birthday was the view from the top.

My birthday dinner was held at the same restaurant as the rehearsal dinner of one of my best friends two years ago.  It was the same place that I sat with my boyfriend, clinging to a life that was slipping away, desperate to find answers in the ocean. But that night, my birthday night, surrounded my 10 best friends and my mother I let those memories fade away into the salty night air, I let that life fade to black and I let in all that was, all that is, my current life.

The trip was full of laughter and food, sharing and listening. One day we cancelled our dinner reservations and stayed in all day, no makeup, hair up, bathing suit on, sun kissed skin glowing.  I heard countless times "you have an amazing group of friends". I know. Perhaps I didn't even know as much as these past 4 days have shown me.  Together my friends have lived in numerous countries, traveled the world (everywhere), started companies, bought homes, gotten married, had children. Together my friends have made me a better person, a stronger person.  I thought I'd be the one who got drunk, danced on a table, waved the champagne high. Instead I was the girl who went to bed first, the sounds of their laughter, their enjoyment providing me with comfort and contentment.

"Was your birthday all that you thought it would be?"

No. Not at all. It was so much more. So much more laughter, so much more comfort, so much more fucking fun.

I had all my friends write in a notebook - memories, stories, whatever they wanted. As I sit on the airplane home reading them, laughing out loud, and smiling ear to ear I realize one very powerful thing - no matter what happens next, in this moment, in this place - I made it. I am happy.

So fucking happy.