Mr. Pee Pee meet Mr. Perfect
"I have to go pee pee."
-"umm what?"
"It's a line from a movie"
-"absolutely not"
-Guy who's name I don't remember from a date I wish I didn't 6 years ago
Since my breakup I've gone on several dates, none have come close to Mr. Pee Pee (kind of a shame really, I do love a good dating horror story)
There was the film student turned lawyer who just happened to be from a rival high school of mine (although 5 years earlier). He had an encyclopedic knowledge of the movies, great taste in books and music and a love of Southern California and traveling abroad. He was the same height as me and blonde - two strikes, the third: tiny hands. Then there was Mr. Perfect: 6'4, tan, former football quarterback, VP at his company, loved to travel, refused to let me pay for anything, liked fashion, and me. I once asked him to tell me something interesting about himself. He told me he'd been arrested. Oh!! For what?! (I don't condone breaking the law, but he didn't look like a serial killer, so I assumed it would be interesting at least)......
"I stole a cooler from the back of a truck."
-"Why??"
"Because the guy had been a jerk to a friend of mine."
-"Ohh, what was in it?"
"Nothing, it was empty. And we returned it 15 minutes later"
-"So you stole an empty cooler and then returned it?"
I almost wished for a serial killer answer. He was certainly perfect......for someone else. Then there was the guy who traveled abroad at least once a month - just for fun. He owned his own internet company and was mobile enough to "live anywhere". The only thing I remember about our dates are that my dress looked amazing and I shouldn't have ordered the tuna sushi roll (wanted eel).
My ex would tell you I didn't have enough feelings, that I could at times be cold, abrasive. Someone else would tell you I have too many feelings (see the trail of tears), that I swim in my emotions and at times am near drowning. Friends of mine have accused me of a need to not be bored, that if bored I lose interest, therefore I'm attracted to those that make life...shall we say...difficult.
What do I think? Well...they're all right. There are times I am cold and abrasive, there are other times I vomit my emotions. And I do strongly dislike to be bored. I have a proclivity for choosing the harder way of doing things, the harder people, the less agreeable, the path less traveled. If I could mashup the above guys, I think I'd end up with a version of the person I want. But since there's no easy bake oven for a mate, I'm going to have to forgo certain things in order to get the one who is challenging, the one who is interesting, the one who pushes me - makes me better. I believe there is a balance - acerbic and mild, caustic and sweet, alone and together. I think I can have the asshole and the agreeable, just as I think I can be the asshole and be agreeable.
Who knows, maybe in 5 years I'll wish for Mr. Perfect and his empty cooler......but for now, I'll look back on my dating horror archive with fondness and I'll appreciate the people in my current path - even the man the other day who told me I had good "breeding genes"......
....way better than pee pee.
-"umm what?"
"It's a line from a movie"
-"absolutely not"
-Guy who's name I don't remember from a date I wish I didn't 6 years ago
Since my breakup I've gone on several dates, none have come close to Mr. Pee Pee (kind of a shame really, I do love a good dating horror story)
There was the film student turned lawyer who just happened to be from a rival high school of mine (although 5 years earlier). He had an encyclopedic knowledge of the movies, great taste in books and music and a love of Southern California and traveling abroad. He was the same height as me and blonde - two strikes, the third: tiny hands. Then there was Mr. Perfect: 6'4, tan, former football quarterback, VP at his company, loved to travel, refused to let me pay for anything, liked fashion, and me. I once asked him to tell me something interesting about himself. He told me he'd been arrested. Oh!! For what?! (I don't condone breaking the law, but he didn't look like a serial killer, so I assumed it would be interesting at least)......
"I stole a cooler from the back of a truck."
-"Why??"
"Because the guy had been a jerk to a friend of mine."
-"Ohh, what was in it?"
"Nothing, it was empty. And we returned it 15 minutes later"
-"So you stole an empty cooler and then returned it?"
I almost wished for a serial killer answer. He was certainly perfect......for someone else. Then there was the guy who traveled abroad at least once a month - just for fun. He owned his own internet company and was mobile enough to "live anywhere". The only thing I remember about our dates are that my dress looked amazing and I shouldn't have ordered the tuna sushi roll (wanted eel).
My ex would tell you I didn't have enough feelings, that I could at times be cold, abrasive. Someone else would tell you I have too many feelings (see the trail of tears), that I swim in my emotions and at times am near drowning. Friends of mine have accused me of a need to not be bored, that if bored I lose interest, therefore I'm attracted to those that make life...shall we say...difficult.
What do I think? Well...they're all right. There are times I am cold and abrasive, there are other times I vomit my emotions. And I do strongly dislike to be bored. I have a proclivity for choosing the harder way of doing things, the harder people, the less agreeable, the path less traveled. If I could mashup the above guys, I think I'd end up with a version of the person I want. But since there's no easy bake oven for a mate, I'm going to have to forgo certain things in order to get the one who is challenging, the one who is interesting, the one who pushes me - makes me better. I believe there is a balance - acerbic and mild, caustic and sweet, alone and together. I think I can have the asshole and the agreeable, just as I think I can be the asshole and be agreeable.
Who knows, maybe in 5 years I'll wish for Mr. Perfect and his empty cooler......but for now, I'll look back on my dating horror archive with fondness and I'll appreciate the people in my current path - even the man the other day who told me I had good "breeding genes"......
....way better than pee pee.