Do the Ladies Run This Motherfu*ker?
"If you're not married by 30 you're a loser".
BOOM. This statement was made to me by a "friend" of mine. In an attempt to salvage our friendship I went to lunch with her before leaving Dallas. Her "hope" for me was that I would "find a nice guy" - she didn't like the one I was involved with - and one who I could "marry and just finally be happy". I forgot my happiness is tied directly to a man? "Yes, because after 30 your looks will fade and no man will want you". She would tell you she was kidding, but that's the thing about humor....it has to be funny.
Cutting comments. Jealousy. Betrayal. Insecurities. Women could rule the world if they weren't so busy tearing each other down.
In high school my best friend of 8 years cut off all contact with me. She wrote me a lengthy letter that she could no longer associate with me because I wasn't "going anywhere" and that I was going to "become an alcoholic". I guess that Mike's hard lemonade I had at that party was too much for her.
I had a roommate in college who had so much going for her, only she didn't think so. Her sole mission in life was to get married. Every time we went out it was the attention of a male that would make or break her night. She once told me "I'm not you, I can't easily get guys attention, so when I do I have to latch on for dear life." I tried to explain to her that nothing smells as bad as desperation. She once waited HOURS for a guy to call her, finally giving up around midnight and going to bed. BOOM - that's when he called. So what did she do? What any irrational female hyped up on cosmo's and skittles would do - she got out of bed, got dressed, and went to his apt. I tried to support her and be there for her, heart break after heart break. I would reassure her and try and build her up. It wouldn't be too long after that that I confided in her who I was dating, given he worked at the school it was a secret. BOOM - she had her ammunition - and fire it off she did. She told everyone...anyone...people who knew me, people who knew him, hell - I bet she told people on the street if they would listen. I confronted her, she denied it. I told her I hoped it had been worth it because those very people turned right around and talked about her. That's the thing about buying friendship with gossip - everyone wants to return it.
There was another girl in college who was my best friend...until she was a raging bitch. Most (okay all) of her mood had to deal with her daily food intake and if the scale was her best friend or worst enemy. She once cancelled her birthday party the day of because she felt I looked thinner than her. She sent VICIOUS texts, one right after the other. No woman has ever typed faster than when enraged. Her boyfriend had to call me and tell me the party was still on and to ignore her. I made sure I wore a flowy (aka: tent) dress and took shots before arriving. Our friendship would end after an ill fated trip to Paris. The waiter at a restaurant found out it was my birthday and made a big to do about it, the look on her face said it all - SWITCH.FLIPPED. I then mistakenly left the earrings she got me on the table at the restaurant. I would have been better off just jumping in the Seine. I apologized about 25 times, I don't think she heard me through the steam shooting out of her ears. We never spoke again.
Recently I was out with a friend. We went to dinner and then out to a few local bars. Everything was good...until it wasn't. Hours into the night and at the final bar she threw deuces and left. I received a text message that she "couldn't compete" with me and that I "always win". I tried to reassure her that is not the case, tried to understand what the hell even happened. Radio. Silence.
I've been the insecure girl who's tried to make sure everyone was only as happy as I was. I've been the girl who left her friends or a happy hour early to meet a guy. What were their names? Hell if I remember. But overtime I've learned that when done in the right way female friendships can be the most rewarding. Afterall no (straight) male wants to talk about the Kardashians or the overwhelming desire once a month to cut throats for chocolate. Men don't see the excitement in the arrival of a cheese plate and prosecco. They don't understand the joys of elastic waist band pants and unwashed hair. They don't want to talk for hours on end about Susie's best friends boyfriends second cousin's girlfriend who just did the MOST ridiculous thing ever - what was it again? Who cares. Doesn't matter. We'll just make it up.
Women could rule the world if they weren't so busy tearing each other down.....and to my former friends - I was able to graduate college, I did not become an alcoholic, and I trust I won't be a 31 year old spinster....
and as for the Mike's hard lemonade...well, we all make mistakes.
BOOM. This statement was made to me by a "friend" of mine. In an attempt to salvage our friendship I went to lunch with her before leaving Dallas. Her "hope" for me was that I would "find a nice guy" - she didn't like the one I was involved with - and one who I could "marry and just finally be happy". I forgot my happiness is tied directly to a man? "Yes, because after 30 your looks will fade and no man will want you". She would tell you she was kidding, but that's the thing about humor....it has to be funny.
Cutting comments. Jealousy. Betrayal. Insecurities. Women could rule the world if they weren't so busy tearing each other down.
In high school my best friend of 8 years cut off all contact with me. She wrote me a lengthy letter that she could no longer associate with me because I wasn't "going anywhere" and that I was going to "become an alcoholic". I guess that Mike's hard lemonade I had at that party was too much for her.
I had a roommate in college who had so much going for her, only she didn't think so. Her sole mission in life was to get married. Every time we went out it was the attention of a male that would make or break her night. She once told me "I'm not you, I can't easily get guys attention, so when I do I have to latch on for dear life." I tried to explain to her that nothing smells as bad as desperation. She once waited HOURS for a guy to call her, finally giving up around midnight and going to bed. BOOM - that's when he called. So what did she do? What any irrational female hyped up on cosmo's and skittles would do - she got out of bed, got dressed, and went to his apt. I tried to support her and be there for her, heart break after heart break. I would reassure her and try and build her up. It wouldn't be too long after that that I confided in her who I was dating, given he worked at the school it was a secret. BOOM - she had her ammunition - and fire it off she did. She told everyone...anyone...people who knew me, people who knew him, hell - I bet she told people on the street if they would listen. I confronted her, she denied it. I told her I hoped it had been worth it because those very people turned right around and talked about her. That's the thing about buying friendship with gossip - everyone wants to return it.
There was another girl in college who was my best friend...until she was a raging bitch. Most (okay all) of her mood had to deal with her daily food intake and if the scale was her best friend or worst enemy. She once cancelled her birthday party the day of because she felt I looked thinner than her. She sent VICIOUS texts, one right after the other. No woman has ever typed faster than when enraged. Her boyfriend had to call me and tell me the party was still on and to ignore her. I made sure I wore a flowy (aka: tent) dress and took shots before arriving. Our friendship would end after an ill fated trip to Paris. The waiter at a restaurant found out it was my birthday and made a big to do about it, the look on her face said it all - SWITCH.FLIPPED. I then mistakenly left the earrings she got me on the table at the restaurant. I would have been better off just jumping in the Seine. I apologized about 25 times, I don't think she heard me through the steam shooting out of her ears. We never spoke again.
Recently I was out with a friend. We went to dinner and then out to a few local bars. Everything was good...until it wasn't. Hours into the night and at the final bar she threw deuces and left. I received a text message that she "couldn't compete" with me and that I "always win". I tried to reassure her that is not the case, tried to understand what the hell even happened. Radio. Silence.
I've been the insecure girl who's tried to make sure everyone was only as happy as I was. I've been the girl who left her friends or a happy hour early to meet a guy. What were their names? Hell if I remember. But overtime I've learned that when done in the right way female friendships can be the most rewarding. Afterall no (straight) male wants to talk about the Kardashians or the overwhelming desire once a month to cut throats for chocolate. Men don't see the excitement in the arrival of a cheese plate and prosecco. They don't understand the joys of elastic waist band pants and unwashed hair. They don't want to talk for hours on end about Susie's best friends boyfriends second cousin's girlfriend who just did the MOST ridiculous thing ever - what was it again? Who cares. Doesn't matter. We'll just make it up.
Women could rule the world if they weren't so busy tearing each other down.....and to my former friends - I was able to graduate college, I did not become an alcoholic, and I trust I won't be a 31 year old spinster....
and as for the Mike's hard lemonade...well, we all make mistakes.