Why go to Vegas when you can just go to Dallas....
“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you
can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently,
too. Coming back to where you started is
not the same as never leaving.”
Living in Texas for 7 years I became accustomed to certain
things: margaritas in place of water, chips and salsa as a meal, air
conditioning on full blast not being cold enough, patios (as if indoor seating
is a real option), nail salons on every corner, frozen yogurt as a meal, and $9
carafes of Mimosa’s as Sunday brunch. I never thought twice about any
of these things, they were so common place that I eventually convinced myself
they existed everywhere. False, in Ohio you need 3 things to survive: an ice scraper, an electric blanket, and patience.
This past weekend I went back to Dallas, I've been
numerous times since moving, but somehow this time felt different. I felt
different. One of my best friends picked me up at the airport where I IMMEDIATELY took off my jacket and put on my sunglasses. Good to be back. We drove to one of my favorite
restaurants – Mr Mesero and met up with a couple more friends. As we were sitting at the table catching up a man in
his 50’s approached our table. He was clearly drunk, we clearly were not as
evident by our upright position upon his approach. He asked what we were celebrating,
we all exchanged glances and I said “me being in town of course!”, "My
wife and I have a deal that we never let beautiful women pay for their dinner,
so I’m going to buy your dinner!” UMM WHAT? Yah right buddy. Just as we were all praying this guy would trip and fall into some guacamole he pulled out his wallet and handed the waiter $300. My friend leans over “umm,
I don’t think we can eat that much”. Eat?!? Umm no, but we sure as hell can drink that much! He
proceeds to ask where I live, why I moved, “DID YOU MOVE BECAUSE OF A GUY?!?”
No matter how much I insisted I moved because of my career he wasn't buying it,
so eventually I said, “YES, yes, I moved because of a guy.” His eyes lit up “DAAAAAALLLLLLLLASS
DOUUUUUUCHEBAAAG!!” and high fives me. He then tells us he’s not going to
bother us but he wanted my friends to show me one hell of a good time and $300 "wasn't
enough" and proceeded to give us $500. We all started in, “oh no-“ then stopped.
Fuck that. Yes. Yes. And more Yes. He said he hoped we had a great night, that
he loved my shark tooth necklace – “actually its your boobs” – ok, so maybe it
was my boobs, but at least he noticed I was wearing a necklace. Then just as quickly as he came, he walked
away. After the shock wore off we took celebratory
photos and each took $100 (thank God there were only 5 of us). We
proceeded to order drinks, more drinks, appetizers, one of each dessert – all of
it. Is this how Julia Roberts felt in Pretty Woman? A
girl behind me said “that’s kind of weird right? He paid you all money, for being pretty?” I looked at her and said “he just paid me to eat, that’s the best kind of hooker there is”.
After our big winnings we went to the Truck yard, a trendy
outdoor bar complete with food trucks and tennis shoes hanging from telephone
wires to meet up with more people. By the final bar my sister had drank like she had $800, dropped her phone in the toilet and lost her driver’s license. A couple of other friends were making out with
people they’d just met and I’d called a friend in California numerous times
confused as to why I couldn't convert the call to facetime as it was ringing
(he’s lucky he’s so good at math and was able to figure out the time difference
and not pick up the phone). A perfect night.
The rest of the weekend passed fairly unenventfully. I was
able to attend my favorite yoga studio, get frozen yogurt, spend time with
family and friends, enjoy the sun and drink plenty of margaritas. The random stranger at dinner almost managed to overshadow one very poignant conversation with a close friend. I hadn't seen her since moving and after catching up she looked at me and said "you're back. You're you again". I laughed - the most genuine, kind hearted, happy laugh. Yes, I'm back. I guess you can put humpty dumpty back together again...give or take $800....
As for Random Stranger - thank you, you made the night of 5 friends (please no one feel badly for him, he had a black Amex, I'm sure he's doing okay).
As for all of my friends....I have a feeling they'll never again turn down my dinner invitation....
