My 10 day, eat whatever the fuck you want, cleanse
Recently I've become obsessed with healthy food bloggers. I obsessively check Instagram, I listen to their stories, flip to their Snapchat story in case there's something different there, and I screenshot their recipes. I gave up drinking for a month last September and became consumed by food, specifically real food, specifically checking the ingredients of food I eat. The result is I eat more vegetables, no longer check calorie counts, know what carrageenan is, and recently spent money on edible superfood powders from Moon Juice, one of which I can barely pronounce. But my body is my temple and I only get one and I'm a yoga instructor and all of this will make sure I'm the epitome of health. Right? Sort of.
I just got back from a 10 day trip to the sun - first Texas/Oklahoma and then Mexico. Early in the trip as I was lounging on my sister's couch, checking Instagram and making sure I (God forbid) didn't miss a "super food coconut ball non fat dairy free gluten free" food post, I realized that all of the bloggers insta stories had the same message. They all stated that "sugar is sugar regardless of where it comes from, and while it's not all created equal it all needs to be monitored". This I agree with, however, then it was taken a step farther. Numerous of them had cut out certain fruits from their diets due to sugar content - ie: grapes and bananas. One had used dates to naturally sweeten something and another made the recipe without dates to make them have even less sugar. Once we got to the date elimination (there were only 3 used in the original recipe) I put my phone down, time to interact with the real people. That night my sister made quesadillas for dinner, I can't eat gluten or dairy - I ate both. I started wondering if I'd gotten so lost in the minutiae I'd forgotten the point. If I cut out the dates and the canola oil and the agave, if I ate less grapes and more raspberries, less bananas and more blackberries would I feel calm and zen? Would I then feel I was in the epitome of health?
Once I was on the plane to Mexico I took a deep breath and promised myself I would let go a bit on this trip, decompress, try and not out think myself. Unfortunately my cell phone carrier allowed my phone to work as usual in Mexico, which meant I could still routinely check on my beloved food bloggers. However, my diet no longer reflected theirs. Outside of the confines of my own kitchen and in a country not known for convenience I was required to let go. We had a kitchen so we could cook the majority of our meals. Our diet was mainly tacos, eggs, some rice, veggies, and tequila. I didn't purposely not eat sugar, I just didn't buy any and really never thought about it. My days were spent laying on the beach, reading books (my goal was to finish one, I finished two), swimming, cooking, and laughing. I felt my shoulders relax down, my anxiety lessen. I wanted to do yoga every morning on the beach, I didn't do it once. I slept in and got up when I wanted. I put on a bathing suit first thing and promptly surveyed my body. What did I think? Should I have given up fruit sooner? I saw things to work on, but I mainly saw all the progress I've made. I saw a tricep muscle I didn't know existed, that was sufficient enough to encourage me to make another margarita (no sugar added in, it makes them better actually, trust me).
When I returned home I deliberately planned an additional two days off. I normally arrive at midnight and go to work promptly the next morning, maximize my time away. But I wondered what would happen if I gave myself a moment to appreciate where I'd been and catch up on things before I returned to work. The result has surprised me. Actually it's surprised me a lot. Yesterday I went to yoga, tried a new gluten free restaurant, went grocery shopping, took a walk, did laundry and did some updating of my resume. Today I got up at 7:30, made a healthy breakfast, chatted with an internal reference about jobs, went for a 5 mile run, meal prepped for the week, cleaned the house, and now I'm writing. It sounds like a lot but I don't feel rushed, in fact I feel the exact opposite. I'm calm. I'm relaxed. In short - my vacation fucking worked.
So my 10 day cleanse is this: take a vacation, take a staycation, but escape. I'm not saying a person can run away from their problems (read all earlier posts as to why I would never ever think this), but I do believe someone can pause their own internal monologue, pause their own bullshit story that plays on a loop. I feel all of the things I'm passionate about being reignited - yoga, writing, running, cooking, finding a new job. I know once I return to work old feelings and habits might creep in, I know things won't be as perfect as they are right now. But in this moment I feel cleansed.
Do I still obsessively follow all of the food bloggers? Of course. Only I do it with more understanding, more awareness. I checked the diabetes.org site and no where does it list eating minimal amounts of fruits to avoid diabetes. Has anyone ever seen a contestant on the Biggest Loser say they ended up obese because they went on an apple bender? No? Me either. I do think it's important everyone know what they eat and the health benefits that go into each bite. I'm glad I know not to eat a bag of bananas. But I also think there is so much more to it than that. If someone has the recommended 26 grams of sugar a day (*American Heart Association), but only gets 3 hours of sleep a night and works 60 hours a week their body will not be "healthy". It is a balance, but one I believe tips more in favor of slowing down and resting up, than in not eating 3 dates.
My 10 day cleanse. My lifetime plan. Get away. Get some distance between the inner monologue and the bullshit story. Now I must go eat one of the coconut superfood high in fiber low in sugar dairy free gluten free balls I made earlier.
Margarita recipe: (makes 1 serving)
1 shaker cap full of good silver tequila
1/4 blood orange
1 lime
pinch of cayenne
**optional: 1 tsp agave (unless you're avoiding sugar :)