Mr Rockefeller, Meet Mr. Bates
"He's great. Too bad you'll ruin his life".
I would have argued....if she'd been wrong.
Not long after my breakup, I'd decided to bring a date to meet some friends. He was great, I could see it. I didn't really feel it, but that wasn't entirely uncommon for me so I figured I'd play along and surely if I saw him with my friends I'd feel it. Kind of like when you see a guy with a kid or a puppy. He was a cute puppy. When one of my friends said "he's amazing, I'd love to date him" my response was "you should". She grimaced....I think I'd rather have a puppy.
I've dated the cool guy, the bad boy, the nice guy, the football quarterback, the nerd, the hipster. I've dated the under-educated, the MBA - the ambitious and the average. I've been in a long term relationship and the shortest of short term - what was your name again? I've lived with a partner, a girlfriend, multiple girlfriends - don't do it, and alone - always do it. I've cheated and I've been cheated on. I've broken hearts and I've had mine broken. I've said I love you to someone and not had them say it back...and vice versa. I've given my all and I've given up.
My ex boyfriend wanted to marry me. He said it often. I wanted to want to marry him. I always thought if I could figure out what was wrong with me - fix it - then it would be okay. I didn't want to disappoint him. I didn't want to disappoint our friends, his family, mine. Everyone loved him - pretty sure more than me. I CAN DO THIS. I'LL GET THERE. We got along great, he was my best friend. We had similar values, similar interests, everything seemed right. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. I HAVE TO GET THERE. He supported me, stood in the background while I did my thing front and center, he knew me in a way no one else did. He loved me so genuinely. AM I THERE YET?!? He didn't beat me, he'd never cheat on me. He was honest, he was kind, he was the kind of guy who would save babies from a burning building and never even mention it. NOW?! GOTTA BE NOW?
Turns out there wasn't anything I could fix, there wasn't anything wrong. The life I had worked so hard to build, it simply wasn't the life I wanted. When faced with nothing that is cataclysmic-ally wrong I wasn't sure exactly what to do. Walking away from the under-educated, what's your name again asshole is easy; the kind hearted guy who everyone loves who would do anything for you? Nearly impossible.
There is no manual. There is no guidebook. Happily ever after looks different for everyone. For me the white picket fence feels more like a cage. I prefer Norman Bates to Norman Rockwell. I'd rather have a small house and a full passport than a big house full of things. Whether it's the hipster or Harvard, there is no perfect person I am looking for, no "type", no soul mate....just a complimentary soul to mine.
"It will take a certain kind of someone to be with your certain kind of someone."
I would have argued....if she'd been wrong.
I would have argued....if she'd been wrong.
Not long after my breakup, I'd decided to bring a date to meet some friends. He was great, I could see it. I didn't really feel it, but that wasn't entirely uncommon for me so I figured I'd play along and surely if I saw him with my friends I'd feel it. Kind of like when you see a guy with a kid or a puppy. He was a cute puppy. When one of my friends said "he's amazing, I'd love to date him" my response was "you should". She grimaced....I think I'd rather have a puppy.
I've dated the cool guy, the bad boy, the nice guy, the football quarterback, the nerd, the hipster. I've dated the under-educated, the MBA - the ambitious and the average. I've been in a long term relationship and the shortest of short term - what was your name again? I've lived with a partner, a girlfriend, multiple girlfriends - don't do it, and alone - always do it. I've cheated and I've been cheated on. I've broken hearts and I've had mine broken. I've said I love you to someone and not had them say it back...and vice versa. I've given my all and I've given up.
My ex boyfriend wanted to marry me. He said it often. I wanted to want to marry him. I always thought if I could figure out what was wrong with me - fix it - then it would be okay. I didn't want to disappoint him. I didn't want to disappoint our friends, his family, mine. Everyone loved him - pretty sure more than me. I CAN DO THIS. I'LL GET THERE. We got along great, he was my best friend. We had similar values, similar interests, everything seemed right. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME. I HAVE TO GET THERE. He supported me, stood in the background while I did my thing front and center, he knew me in a way no one else did. He loved me so genuinely. AM I THERE YET?!? He didn't beat me, he'd never cheat on me. He was honest, he was kind, he was the kind of guy who would save babies from a burning building and never even mention it. NOW?! GOTTA BE NOW?
Turns out there wasn't anything I could fix, there wasn't anything wrong. The life I had worked so hard to build, it simply wasn't the life I wanted. When faced with nothing that is cataclysmic-ally wrong I wasn't sure exactly what to do. Walking away from the under-educated, what's your name again asshole is easy; the kind hearted guy who everyone loves who would do anything for you? Nearly impossible.
There is no manual. There is no guidebook. Happily ever after looks different for everyone. For me the white picket fence feels more like a cage. I prefer Norman Bates to Norman Rockwell. I'd rather have a small house and a full passport than a big house full of things. Whether it's the hipster or Harvard, there is no perfect person I am looking for, no "type", no soul mate....just a complimentary soul to mine.
"It will take a certain kind of someone to be with your certain kind of someone."
I would have argued....if she'd been wrong.